Laziness can be miss-interpreted to also include some degree of selfishness. When in fact, Selfishness is a personality trait, and the truly selfish people are selfish and generally NOT Lazy, i.e., Selfish people work hard to earn what they have and to keep it all for themselves. Whereas Laziness truly is not selfish at all. The Lazy people that I’ve known throughout my life have been the types of people that would give you the shirt off their back, if you needed one and they had one to give, so to speak. Laziness usually occurs in people that never fully matured in certain aspects of their lives. It is also a “choice” that is brought on by conditioning, or acceptance in your own mind that the lifestyle is perfectly normal, when it isn’t. Not a good thing if you are lazy your entire life.
At first glance, one would think that there is an element of Selfishness in Laziness, but there’s not. A lazy person will still give you the shirt off his/her back, that is, if he/she had an extra shirt. When this laziness has consumed a person to the point where he feels no desire to do ANY work, like mowing your friend/host’s lawn, or cleaning up after yourself in the friend/host’s kitchen, and your friend/host has graciously allowed you to “Couch Surf” in their home for an extended period of time. When the only thing you wipe is your ass. Wipe the kitchen counter? That’s work! That takes precious time away from whatever activity you indulge in.
Selfish? Some may think so. I don’t think so. Lazy? Yes, to the extent that it’s on the fringes of a psychosis of some sort, with some of the ingredients possibly being PTSD and possibly depression. Forget lack of self-esteem, there may be a little bit of that as well, but PTSD, depression and lack of self-esteem is not the main root cause, they just contribute to it. In fact, you can be mind-healthy in all other aspects and still be the Laziest Person on Earth.
Let me be perfectly clear here. PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Schizophrenia, or any other mental imbalance or psychosis is NOT the cause of Laziness. They MAY exacerbate a condition, but not cause it. Women who suffer with Postpartum Depression is a great example. The husband, who doesn’t understand it, comes home and finds the dishes not done, the home in disarray, the baby sitting there with a load of shit in its diaper that’s several hours old, and the husband says, “You LAZY bitch, get out of bed and do something”. Well, Mr. Husband, that’s NOT laziness, that’s depression, your wife is not lazy.
I myself had spent much of my life suffering from PTSD and deep depression. Certifiably Bi-Polar Type 2 I WAS, leaving everything undone except for sleep, a perpetual state of depressive sleep. My only relief from the deep depression was the occasional Bi-Polar “High” when I thought I could save the world on my own. Shit was still left undone, piling up, dirty dishes in the sink, unwashed clothes, etceteras. I eventually discovered what I had to do to overcome/defeat it. During those periods in my life prior to my healing, I was NOT a Lazy person. I didn’t get to where I am today, mentally and emotionally cured, from being Lazy that’s for sure. Feel free to ask me how I was “Healed”.
The main root cause of “PUREFUCKINGLAZYITUS”, which is difficult for most of us to comprehend, is the “conditioning” and choice that people accept. We don’t understand it for the most part, and we feel totally helpless in trying to deal with it when we see it manifested in a friend’s lifestyle. I believe a person’s choice to live that way is a mental condition/illness, that I call “PUREFUCKINGLAZYITUS”.
Our homeless veterans that suffer from PTSD, most of them, are NOT lazy. If they are given the opportunity, and with the proper counseling for their PTSD and related symptoms like depression, will in most cases, take a job, perhaps begin a career in order to better their lives. On Skid Rows across America, there are four types of people, the ones who are truly suffering from one psychosis or another and should be treated as such (Mental Health disorders and treatment), the people suffering from PTSD can be classified with the first group as that is a real psychosis, there also are people (mostly families) who are down on their luck, lost their home by default because the factory where they worked shut down, they couldn’t pay the rent or mortgage forcing them into homelessness, and then there are the Lazy ones, who are homeless because they choose the lifestyle.
Of the Lazy, there are people like Bob, who never had a chance straight out of the “Starting Block”, pre-conditioned if you will. It too should be classified with the first group except there is not a single thing you can do for them. They suffer from “PUREFUCKINGLAZYITUS”, and there is no magic pill or cure. The homeless need our help. Does our “couch-surfing” friend? We continue to help a friend in any way we can because he IS a friend, and he would give YOU the shirt off HIS back. If we are truly a friend, and if we are by nature, “Giving” people, we will let that friend stay in our homes, eating our food, using our home like it was his, like the phrase “Mi Casa su Casa”, what’s mine is yours. And we do this with no expectation of any kind of return.
The difference with those truly afflicted with this “PUREFUCKINGLAZYITUS” is that we (as givers) are shocked beyond belief that our friend is unable to comprehend that it’s NOT payback that the givers are seeking at all if he is purely “Lazy”. It’s just shocking to those around him, especially shocking to the “Givers” that the friend doesn’t take it upon himself to help with even normal chores around the house.
The fact is, laziness does consume a person to the point that the act of just doing something is NOT as a remittance of a gift given, it’s WORK. If all you can do is put hand to mouth for the insertion of food and liquid nourishment, sleep, shit and wipe your ass, and do nothing substantial towards making your station in life better, or even seeking a job at MacDonald’s, then I say you are ill, you suffer from “PUREFUCKINGLAZYITUS” and are beyond help.
Beyond help because there is nothing you can do or say to change that friend into a normal healthy human being. So, we continue to help, in spite of the fact that the friend we are helping does not have the where with all to change his lifestyle. Most of his/her friends do not have the intelligence to recognize that he/she is living an extreme lifestyle that does not include WORK, and they continue to give him help in every form imaginable. A much smaller portion of close friends DO try to speak/teach that special friend that the lifestyle that person been living has been chosen, i.e., his/her CHOICE and that they CAN CHOOSE to make their life better, beginning with getting a job, any job. These attempts to “Help” fall on deaf ears, and every excuse in the book.
Ever hear of a person saying’ “I think I want to be LAZY for the next two months, then after that, I’m going to do whatever is necessary to find a job, or really train for a career”. There are normal people that will do that, and do it purposely calling it a “Time Out” or sabbatical from normal life. They will make a decision that they are going to purposely NOT work for two whole months, or whatever time period for various reasons, BUT they will use that time planning, or at least thinking about what they are going to do when that sixty days of “Fasting” from work is over. The difference between that person just described, and someone who suffers from “PUREFUCKINGLAZYITUS” is that he/she never, ever finds a career, or a job, as they keep living the semi-homeless life, at your house and scores of other friend’s houses. Yes, we can say it’s a CHOICE, but I say it’s a choice coupled with some other really nasty issues. So, I call it as I see it, a person with “PUREFUCKINGLAZYITUS” is SICK, and beyond help.
To summarize “Laziness”, compare the friend, stricken with “PUREFUCKINGLAZYITUS” with another friend of the host, whose home was recently burned to the ground in the Santa Barbara fires and needs a temporary place to stay, we’ll call him John. John is a normal dude, either working, or not, if not working he’s actively seeking work in his area of expertise. First thing, day one in the host’s home, he says he is willing to help around the house, do whatever needs to be done. The common areas like the kitchen for example are cleaned and kept clean. John mows the lawn. John does whatever it takes to reciprocate for the host’s kindness……Because John is not Lazy, or Selfish. The act of reciprocation is not just a choice (like choosing to be Lazy) it’s a natural part of John’s being and is the norm for most people that are NOT Lazy or Selfish.
Now, just a few words about true “Selfishness”. Selfishness is NOT by choice, it’s a “Personality Trait” you either have it, or you don’t. I have known some of the most selfish people on this planet, and I have to say, I believe it is part of their Bad Karma Genetic Makeup. Somehow, when Selfishness was handed out, they asked for three scoops instead of one. Number one, they are Selfish from day one. Number two, they are NOT Lazy people. They strive/work for gain, they strive to be successful, but only for themselves. They generally do not believe in reciprocating, for ANYTHING. Not even if it effects their own family. The term “Generosity” is not in their vocabulary. There is no, “Itus” for selfishness, i.e., no “Selfishitus”. There is no cure, because there is no mental affliction involved. There is no class or course to teach a Selfish person how to become “Unselfish”. They remain Selfish their entire lives, affecting those around them, at work, close family and friends.
So, we have discussed the two unrelated types. People who suffer from “PUREFUCKINGLAZYITUS”, and all the un-named people you might know, who one could say are the most selfish people on the planet. The only thing in common between these two types is that you can’t help either one. The first one is sick in my opinion, being accustomed to that lifestyle, and the second one, SELFISHNESS as a personality disorder/trait, that will be carried to the grave and also can never be changed. What’s this mean for the rest of us? Sadly, we will continue to help our lazy friends, hoping that the “Light-Bulb” will turn on at some point in their miserable lives, and we will continue to be disgusted with the Selfish people that have absolutely no fucking clue that their “Personality Trait” negatively affects others.
Conclusion: I am an optimist, believing that “PUREFUCKINGLAZYITUS” can somehow be reversed. I am also a pessimist thinking that pure unadulterated Selfishness cannot be changed. My intent with this writing is to give some clarity to the two unrelated issues in hopes that at least for the Lazy ones, that a light-bulb might turn on in their minds initiating a positive change in their lives. Selfish people, you are on your own. When you are buried, people might remember you as, “That ASSHOLE was the most selfish person I have ever known”.
Yadhum oore yaavarum kelir, “The World Is One Family”
Dr. T. C. Saxe, DD, RSISHE
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