Advertisers for “The Unknown Sock Puppet Interviews”

Advertisers for ” The Unknown Sock Puppet Interviews”

And now a word from one of Sponsors…….

HOLY TOLEDO Water, from America’s Industrial Rust Belt, slightly greasy odor, with a rusty mechanical after taste….

HOLY MACKEREL Water, tastes a little fishy to me, need I say more?…..

We can’t leave out, FUCKING FLINT RIVER Water in all it’s subtlety, perfect with beans and watermelon, with a slightly heavier lead-like taste.

The amazing, portable, AND discreet Sphincter Muscle Exerciser, the AMAZING SPHINCTERATER!!! No one will know just how good your pinch-offs are until they try the AMAZING SPHINCTERATER for themselves! Using a gentle pulsating action, the AMAZING SPHINCTERATER gives your sphincter muscle continuous exercise, even when you are sleeping!

For the next 90 seconds, order the AMAZING SPHINCTERATER for the low, low price of $19.95, including free shipping….and receive a second AMAZING SPHINCTERATER Absolutely FREE!…(Just pay separate handling and packaging fee, batteries sold separately). If you don’t have snappier cleaner pinch-offs in 90 days, return the AMAZING SPHINCTERATER for a full refund (less handling and shipping. Sphincterater must be clean and odor free)  Call 800 – BIG – PINCH, or visit our website TODAY! Available in Small, Medium, Large, and Extra-Large

BUT WAIT! THAT’S NOT ALL! Mention this secret code UNKNOWNSOCKPUPPET and receive the optional TURD-SLIDE at no additional cost to you. The wonderful TURD-SLIDE folds down from your personal SPHINCTERATER just below the waterline and eliminates that embarrassing splash that big turds sometime cause. Especially useful in public toilets. Simply fold the optional TURD-SLIDE down into the water and the TURD-SLIDE will direct your turd towards the drain. No more multiple-flush floaters swimming around in the toilet bowl.

(Caution: Although prolonged use of the AMAZING SPHINCTERATER may induce pleasurable feelings coupled with orgasmic issue, if your orgasm lasts for more than an hour, or you experience excessive anal bleeding call 911).

SO DON’T  WAIT!! CALL NOW! Call 800 – BIG – PINCH, or visit our website TODAY!

We need story boards of the Unknown Sock Puppet holding up the various product, we also need professional looking labels for the water bottles, we also need a subtle but realistic design for the AMAZING SPHINCTERATER Sphincterater Muscle Exerciser and the optional folding TURD-SLIDE, plus the packaging they come in