My favorite patio chair versus “Boxer Shorts”

How many of you have a favorite patio chair? When I had the beach house, I had a fairly nice patio chair that I covered, (completely) with an old Sheep-Skin Seat Cover from one of my old Mercedes When the kids were over with five or ten of their friends, they knew to warn their friends NOT to sit in Dad’s Chair. If I happen to be in the house and come back out, like from taking a leak or something, MY chair was supposed to be empty and available at all times.

Well, where I live now (for the past four years or so, I don’t have a “Patio”  per se, but I have a huge porch that’s raised about three feet (three steps) off of the ground. OK, it’s a +55 Mobile Home Park called Fiesta del Sol Resort West. I own what they call, a double-wide, two-bedroom. Two-bath, thousand square foot mobile home. It’s like the same amount of space as a lot of condo’s and townhomes. Instead of paying a separate “Association Fee” to take care of the pool, clubhouse, gym, spa and other amenities, I pay a “Lot Fee”. The house is mine, the land it’s sitting on is theirs. So, about my chair now.

I have this beautiful deep dark reddish brown hard leather patio chair that is what I sit on when watching the sunrise in the morning. That is, if I have stayed up ALL night writing, creating like I did last night.

I found out that if you have been smokin’ a little weed whilst you are writing, you tend to be a little more relaxed. Being a little more relaxed (stoned), and wearing “Boxer” shorts you sit down too quickly and smash your nuts…..let me explain in case all you are used to “Briefs” and need to know the difference, “Briefs” might be the type of underwear your husband or boyfriend wears.

The type of underwear that keeps the whole “package, so to speak, neatly squished together in the front part of the underwear. Restricting the balls and the penis together in a pouch like configuration. “Boxer” Shorts are like these, they have short little legs on them. Some are sort of short covering up perhaps eight inches of leg, and some boxers have longer, almost swimming trunk type of legs, going down to almost the knees. Off the subject a little, but I knew a guy (let’s call him Thor) that always wore sweat pants, even in the middle of the summer. He was part Norwegian, and part American Indian.  I always wondered why he never wore shorts, even to go swimming.

I found out like the rest of the audience found out the first time this dude got up to sing a Karaoke song. I can’t remember the song he sang, it was a fast rock & roll song, and while he sang, he also danced around on the stage. This flaccid, Python Snake of a cock  was dangling down to his knees, even a little lower maybe.

I never examined him up close. A few of the women that hung out at the Karaoke Bar, including one of the bar tenders had first “Hand” knowledge, and of course had to share their experience with the rest of us. Susie said she measured with a carpenter’s measuring tape. Twenty-three inches she claimed.

What we as an audience saw that night, was something slapping up against the inside part of his right or left sweat pant leg, I can’t  remember, and yes it appeared to flop and bang all the way down to just past where that particular knee was bending, as he danced.

I said all that to bring you folks up to speed on the difference between men’s briefs, and boxer shorts, and why the Indian dude couldn’t wear any kind of shorts.  Back to my chair. It’s comfortable, but a little hard-surfaced. Most of the time, I’m wearing Khaki shorts over my boxer shorts, so my junk is sorta gathered in by both.  Even still, there are times, like when I’m walking, that one or both testicles, AND my penis, manage to hang down one leg or the other.

Now for us normal dudes, if you still have both balls, as I do, and they are fairly large, and your ball-sack is quite big, you have to be careful when you sit down with just boxer shorts on, because your balls do have a tendency to get smashed between the hard leather…….the beautiful deep dark reddish brown hard leather, and either the back of your left thigh, or back of your right thigh, depending on what side of your boxer shorts your nuts have drifted to… say, “Ouchie”, and quickly rearrange your balls before lighting up your bong. Of course you are alone, and stoned when this happens.

Strain: BushKush1, harvested October 3rd, 2017

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