My story is not about that record breaking turd, although it started with a text to my son tonight, telling him that the story of the 26 foot turd was not true. Its about the massive difference between the feeding of our “Brains” when I was a kid, compared to what our children are exposed to today. As I was growing up, our primary source of information outside of the classroom was our television. The kids today have cell phones and laptops, etceteras. I use a 10″ Tablet for my writing, and in this case tonight, I used my tablet to access the Internet. Think about this for a minute. When I was a kid, it was Howdy Doody Time and the Six o’clock News on the TV.
Of course we also had real books to read, just like today, except today real books are becoming a novelty. We read much, much more than our parents did with far less REAL books. Everything we see and do is on the Internet. And it’s really condensed. Along with progress we do see some really positive things. Like we have saved approximately ten billion two hundred and fifty million, seven hundred thirty-two thousand four hundred and eighteen trees since the invention of the personal computer.
The death of trees actually peaked because of the novelty of being able to print something we typed on a computer’s printer versus in the old days, when we used a typewriter and paper, and carbon paper when we had to have a copy. As we continue to slowly evolve, we need less and less real paper. Imagine how many trees have been saved because we store our memories on a thumb-drive and our entire lives and entire corporations records on hard drives.
So quite honestly, you are a good parent if you gift your children with the love for real books, starting when they first learn to read. Most parents do that. Just don’t stop giving them real books. Of course its okay for your children to get part of their ”Brain” food from modern day electronics, which isn’t just radio or television. It’s a PC or cell phone and the ability to get on the World Wide Web, i.e., The “Internet”. How many of you are young enough that you have no idea what WWW stands for. No, its not World Wide Wrestling.
Here’s my point. I came up with the title based on a passing thought. I used to have an ostomy, up until four months ago when the wonderful doctors at the Mayo Clinic hooked my anus back up. I have enjoyed the ability to poop normally again. In fact, I haven’t ever pooped this good. One day out of the blue, for some reason I recalled something that happened in the second grade. I remember it was wintertime, snow outside, and really cold. I can imagine how things like sewer pipes could freeze. I remember raising my hand, and the teacher telling me that the “Boys” bathroom was temporarily “Out of Order” and “We are waiting on the plumber”.
Well, what really happened was that one of my buddies dropped the largest turd that a child of seven had ever produced. I know it because I saw it. He attempted to flush, frozen pipes. His log sat there and steamed in the hot water. Yes, in the wintertime we always poured a bucket of hot water in the toilet before taking a crap. This was an old fashioned school house with two bathrooms, one toilet in each. This was a story that could live in Infamy on the playground. So I asked Mrs. Johnson if I could use the Girls Room if I promised to raise the toilet seat, and she said yes. I stuck my head in the Boys Room and looked. I’m guessing, twelve inches. I think I screamed out, “Look at this turd, 12 inches at least”. Out in the classroom, my muffled words were, “duke abbas nerd, 12 anchovies’. My buddies knew what I was saying. I single-handedly emptied out the classroom in less than a minute. I received 30 minutes with my nose against a chalkboard for starting that scramble to see the GIANT Turd. In addition, I had to write a thousand times, “It was not Mrs. Johnson’s turd” because someone came up with a chant.
Anyway, you couple that wonderful memory with the joy of being able to take a normal crap and looking down with pride at some of the longest turds you have ever seen come out of your asshole. Hence, tonight you are bored with the Clinton versus Bernie versus Trump crap, and you decide to type in to your browser, “Worlds record for longest human turd”.
Think about it. If I can find that story about the Michigan woman with the 26 foot turd, little Billy can browse, “How to perform a vasectomy on the neighbor’s Pit Bull”. Sounds a little twisted but it’s true! You can find ANYTHING on the Internet. Besides modern technology, give your children real books to learn from. Rather than “program” your child’s PC, look at their browser history as they grow up. It won’t matter that you tell them that you can “see” what they are looking at. Your son will wait until he’s at Billy’s house to look up the words, “Hairy Vagina”. When I was in elementary school we didn’t have the Internet. We had this cute little red-haired girl, Susie. Susie was saving up to buy a horse. During recess she would meet you by the apple trees and show a little glimpse of her pubic hair. She was the only person in the school with red hair. First time I saw it I bug-eyed stared at it for so long, that Susie said, “Take a picture, it will last longer”. It cost a buck to look. I sold a lot of Twinkies at lunch time. Eventually, when she was in the 7th grade, and I was in the 4th, she let me see the whole enchilada.
A few years later, we saw her at a Rodeo riding her horse “Champion”, her beautiful Red Hair flowing out from under her white cowgirl hat as she trotted past the grandstand where we were sitting. I turned to my friends and said, “I practically paid for that horse”. They all spontaneously laughed and said, “So did we, hahahahahahaha”. I know over the course of two years I came up with a buck at least 20 times. With eighteen other dudes in elementary school, the money added up. Shoot, I heard that she even had some girls interested in seeing her red bush. When I was a kid, you were lucky if you had a close friend that knew where his Dad hid the Playboy magazines, and you were really lucky to know Susie. Today, the college girls are paying for their educations with live streaming webcams in their dorm rooms. “Hey look! For five bucks a month you can watch Debbie walk around in her room naked!”
Obviously, all good parents should monitor, at least be aware, of what their children are ”Feeding” their brain, throughout their lives. If your child’s browser is showing you something of concern, like “how to successfully poison your teacher”), at least you know it, and you can discuss it with your child, and come to positive results hopefully. I think this phenomenon, “What we feed our brains”, should be studied, in “Real Time”. We can call it “Human Evolution 101”. In the year 3535, will anybody be alive? A little scary.
Strain: “Bernie’s Best” harvested June 8th, 2016
We sometimes think it is hopeless and against all odds, but hey, we are part of the 99% against the 1% that currently have absolute control. We can and shall overcome the odds, but only if we truly ORGANIZE. Otherwise, we are all just as a “Single Fly, Farting in the Wind”. Some thoughts on possible miracles/solutions can be found on the following GOFUNDME page. If you have questions, suggestions, comments, etcetera, again, please feel free to contact me. You can contact me by farcecrap PM, send me an email or fill out the contact form below.
For my faithful readers that are aware that I’m finally working on “The Dead Armadillo” story, like say, a Producer, or a Director, or a Screenwriter or someone or a company that desires to option my novel, you can contact me at any time, night or day. If you are a one of those faithful readers that wish to read and follow my progress as I work on this novel, I will be posting updates as a PDF file on every new post on this website/blog. Here’s the latest of “The Dead Armadillo”
For those of you that would care to get involved with me on this project, as I intend to hire a professional screenwriter at some point, and produce a feature film, I have recently been approved for a KICKSTARTER campaign where you can contribute. Here is the link to the KICKSTARTER campaign.
Peace & Abide, La paz y la morada, السلام والالتزام , שלום ושמירה, Paix et Demeure, Խաղաղությունը եւ մնալը, Мир и пребывание,, 平和と遵守, 和平與恪守, Aştî û Abad, صلح و عبید, Fred och Abide, Kapayapaan at Patuloy, Frieden und Bleiben, Mir i Ostanite, शांति और निवास, Hòa bình và ở lại, Мир и Абиде, שלום און בלייַבן, สันติภาพและการปฏิบัติ, Mir in bivanje,
Dr. T. C. Saxe, DD, RSISHE
Some immediate needs. On a volunteer basis for now, we need a WEBMASTER who can work on the ITAD-NAO website, we need a person skilled in “Crowd-Funding” and “Director of Charitable Giving”, we need an attorney to help in the legal matters for ITAD_NAO, including setting us up as a tax-exempt “Church”, we need a Certified CPA to insure the financial integrity of the ITAD-NAO organization, we need a “Chief of Security”, we need a film-maker, first for YouTube, eventually for larger platforms, plus a few other positions. We believe that somewhere down the road, a Billionaire will step up to the plate and write a check for $50 Million or so, which will turn those volunteer positions into paid positions.
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