I was channel flipping last night and ran across a show on “The Learning Channel” called “Long Lost Family”. One of the stories was about a 40 something woman who wanted to find, and get in touch with her biological father, who didn’t even know he was a father. This woman’s mother and father had a one-night fling and went on their merry, separate ways. There were a few other stories related to adopted people eventually wanting to look up their mother or father. It started me thinking, and writing. If you’re adopted, and you get the urge to look for your birth-parents, who do you instinctively look for first? Your mother of course. You will secondarily try to look for your father. Think about it…it will NOT be as important as looking for your birth-mother. Same is the case as far as giving a baby up for adoption. All the man does is donate some sperm and get his “Jollies off”. The woman provides the egg, nine months of gestation, and endures hours, usually, of the most horrific pain known to human-kind. Here are some categories where the mother makes the decision to give a baby up for adoption, assuming she or her parents did not believe in Abortion.
The first category I call the Young and Dumb category, Generally, the birth-mother is single, and young, and the birth-father is young as well. Both of them are ” Space Cadets” as far as parental desires, expectations and thoughts are concerned. No money or jobs. I will talk about the sixteen year old nice Catholic girl later. I was fifteen. The summer after my mother died.
The next category is the off chance that a prostitute or whore would even keep a pregnancy. Little chance of that happening. But, if it did, would a prostitute or whore know which one of ten different guys it could have been. that is, assuring you didn’t make him wear a condom. That would be a whore not insisting on a condom, not the prostitute. And as far as the biological father is concerned, he was just a “trick”, or that guy in the nice cowboy hat that you took home one night.
Another category all by itself, is when the baby is given up for adoption because of Rape. The norm is that if the person is going to look for a parent, its going to be the mother that he or she looks for. If the mother is found, and there is some contact, the mother most probably will never reveal who the father is. Unless the mother kept newspaper clippings of the capture, trial and conviction of the “father”. In that situation, I don’t think I would have a very strong desire to look up Daddy.
Another category, similar but different, is Incest. Most common is the father/daughter type. Now this is not about Hillbillies. If it were, we would have to include Mother/Son incest. Either way, there is no adoption involved, you’re just part of the family which is really twisted.
One last category is when there has been an ongoing, or developing relationship that breaks up before the pregnancy is discovered, and the birth-mother decides not to tell the ex-boyfriend for whatever reason. Either he was such a Big Asshole, or she was a Total Bitch or both. Or, perhaps she deliberately purposed him as a “Sperm Donor”, (that being the total of her interest in him makes her a Bitch also) which I will get into later. In the case of a broken relationship, and the mother decides to keep her baby, ninety percent of the time the woman’s going to tell the ex-boyfriend for the purpose of getting some financial support , especially if he is “Loaded”. That other ten percent of the women include the ones that are just plain selfish and/or used you as a donor.
You cannot include being raised by your Grandparents or other relatives as far as knowing who your mother is or was. She’s the methhead doing ten years for drug trafficking. So you do know who your mother is, but there is a chance that your father doesn’t know you exist.
Doesn’t the ”Sperm Donor” biological father have some rights? I think so. How about the son or daughter? Doesn’t that child have rights? It wasn’t rape or incest. No matter if I was a child or an adult, I would want to know who my real father was. Think about it. Whither you are three years, seventeen years, or fifty years old. Obviously when I was old enough to comprehend, I would wonder i.e., at least have some thoughts about my father. Unless your mother told you that the man she married while she was still pregnant with you was your father. Shoot! She could have told that dude she married that HE was the father. Oh, and he was a lot older, so I guess she really was into older men.
Is the seventeen year old senior in High School that I saw on his Mother’s Facebook page my son? Looking at his age, and birth date (in August of the specific birth year). Was I just a “Sperm Donor?” Maybe. Counting back nine months, give or take a few weeks, was the memory close enough to really good sex without a condom to make me think Paternal thoughts? Yes. Do I want to do something about it? Yes. I have made no attempt to contact my potential son however out of respect for his privacy. I have sent a few private messages to his mother on FB, with no response. I believe that a father has a right to know, but I think the child’s desire and well-being is foremost.
Now back to the first category. The young and dumb. She is a sixteen year old Catholic girl you met at the Piggly Wiggly Grocery store in South Central Minneapolis, whose parents are in Europe for the summer. You are fifteen, but almost sixteen while you are having this steamy affair. In reality, you only have sex one time, and it wasn’t that good on your part anyway. You didn’t last very long, but all it takes is one single teeny tiny little sperm to get a woman pregnant. Her parents get home from Paris, and find out that Suzie, Sandy, or Shirley, (whatever her name was, started with an ”S”) was pregnant.
Good Catholics that they were, abortion was out of the question. Tried calling at first. I could not understand why her parents would not let me speak to her. I took the bus cross town several times to their house. After no one answering the door for about six different visits, a woman came to the door and said that the Johnson’s, ( fictional name) no longer lived there. I found out from a friend of Suzie’s that her parents still lived there, and that they had sent her to a Catholic Home for Unwed Mothers. That same friend said that they were not planning on keeping the baby and refused to tell me where the ”Home” was. So if he or she is still alive, I have a fifty-two year old son or daughter. Even though I was a ”Space Cadet” then, I have still wondered about this all these years. I believe even at that age, I should have had the opportunity to be a part of my Childs’ life.
As far as the seventeen year old senior in High School. There is nothing I can do. I will never make an attempt to contact him directly, or use his name or his mother’s name in my blog pages, or any other public forum. If there is one thing I would want him to know, if I am his father, I would instinctively love him no matter what, and that I really did love his mother. I thought I was more than just a “Sperm Donor”.
We sometimes think it is hopeless and against all odds, but hey, we are part of the 99% against the 1% that currently have absolute control. We can and shall overcome the odds, but only if we truly ORGANIZE. Otherwise, we are all just as a “Single Fly, Farting in the Wind”. Some thoughts on possible miracles/solutions can be found on the following GOFUNDME page. If you have questions, suggestions, comments, etcetera, again, please feel free to contact me. You can contact me by farcecrap PM, send me an email or fill out the contact form below.
For my faithful readers that are aware that I’m finally working on “The Dead Armadillo” story, like say, a Producer, or a Director, or a Screenwriter or someone or a company that desires to option my novel, you can contact me at any time, night or day. If you are a one of those faithful readers that wish to read and follow my progress as I work on this novel, I will be posting updates as a PDF file on every new post on this website/blog. Here’s the latest of “The Dead Armadillo”
For those of you that would care to get involved with me on this project, as I intend to hire a professional screenwriter at some point, and produce a feature film, I have recently been approved for a KICKSTARTER campaign where you can contribute. Here is the link to the KICKSTARTER campaign.
Peace & Abide, La paz y la morada, السلام والالتزام , שלום ושמירה, Paix et Demeure, Խաղաղությունը եւ մնալը, Мир и пребывание,, 平和と遵守, 和平與恪守, Aştî û Abad, صلح و عبید, Fred och Abide, Kapayapaan at Patuloy, Frieden und Bleiben, Mir i Ostanite, शांति और निवास, Hòa bình và ở lại, Мир и Абиде, שלום און בלייַבן, สันติภาพและการปฏิบัติ, Mir in bivanje,
Dr. T. C. Saxe, DD, RSISHE
Some immediate needs. On a volunteer basis for now, we need a WEBMASTER who can work on the ITAD-NAO website, we need a person skilled in “Crowd-Funding” and “Director of Charitable Giving”, we need an attorney to help in the legal matters for ITAD_NAO, including setting us up as a tax-exempt “Church”, we need a Certified CPA to insure the financial integrity of the ITAD-NAO organization, we need a “Chief of Security”, we need a film-maker, first for YouTube, eventually for larger platforms, plus a few other positions. We believe that somewhere down the road, a Billionaire will step up to the plate and write a check for $50 Million or so, which will turn those volunteer positions into paid positions.
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