I still need someone artistic to draw an editorial cartoon, (two storyboard panels?) for the following caption:
Driver: “Seriously Officer, I SWEAR, this is NOT Donald Trump sitting next to me with his tiny hand on my cock”.
Motorcycle Cop: “Drivers License and Registration please, and please zip up your pants and get out of the car, Mr. Clinton”
an alternative that sounds just as funny,
Driver: “Seriously Officer, I SWEAR, this is NOT Donald Trump sitting next to me with his head in my lap”.
What do you do when your microwave oven takes a crap, i. e., discontinues heating shit up. You ALWAYS zapped the 1/2 Gallon of your favorite Ice Cream for about 20 seconds because your freezer really freezes shit. So in this case, ever since you discovered that your microwave oven no longer was functional, you dig at that rock hard ice cream, heating your spoon in hot water to help scoop out your ice cream. You probably followed this heated spoon, digging procedure for about a week.
Well, tonight the bright idea, duuuuuuuu, was to take the ice cream OUT of the freezer and setting it on the kitchen counter, which is NOT to where your office, i. e., your designated writing area is. Ahh Haaa, you say, take the ice cream with you to your office, setting it on your desk next to your monitor. Why you say? Because if I had left it on the kitchen counter, I would have forgotten about it.
When I’m writing like this, I certainly would have forgotten it. Ice cream time. Be right back. I’m back. Just the right meltiness. Tillamook Oregon Strawberry with fresh raspberries and cut up to bite size fresh strawberries. I was composing and typing for about 15 minutes before taking my ice cream break, Perfect.
This next thing I’m going to share, is a personal revelation tonight. In the recent past, say a year, when I DID have ice cream, I always finished the entire amount of the contents of my bowl, including finishing the ice cream AFTER the berries ran out.
The punch line to all of this? I have ALWAYS put leftover ice cream in the freezer. All my life. For primarily just putting to much ice cream in the bowl to in the first place. Duuuuuuuuuuu. Tonight, when I ran out of fresh berries, I rediscovered putting ice cream, in a bowl, BACK in the freezer.
The revelation that I feel is personal and special for me? I forgot how to do certain shit because of my stroke! Now, just as all my life, when I run out of berries before the ice cream is gone, I’m going to stick that fuckin bowl of leftover ice cream in the freezer, to wait for the next cannabis hunger hunger awakening.
Just shows to go ya, eating a bowl of Tillamook Oregon Strawberry with fresh raspberries and cut up to bite size fresh strawberries can be very revealing.
Now for the real reason for this post tonight. In my last post I wrote, Afterthought at 8:51 AM: To the one complaining asshole, you MUST carry KY Jelly around with you at all times, in hopes that some big Cowboy dude is going to stick his size 13 Rattlesnake Skinned Cowboy boot up your anus.
What I added at the end of the last post has to do with someone who took offense to a comment on the group page called “Fuck you, Fuck them Fuck everybody”. How ANY one person can be offended in this group is beyond comprehension.
First of all, with a group name like that, you are NOT going to be seeing many children participating in the group. Same as I would never post my comments or links to my blog or blog posts on groups meant for kids or ANY profile of group meant for the general public, i. e., “Sally’s wonderful Pink Dress”, a Group for women who sew.
So this “Person” was upset at an image I used in response to his negative comment. Again, we all are allowed to have our own opinion on ANYTHING. It was all about karma. I meant no evil harm by suggesting he was not a Moon Crater. (See image at very end of this post).
The fact that that statement is accompanied with a rather unpretentious, but lovely image of a very clean anus, has nothing to do with wither this dude REALLY is an asshole, or even unpretentious asshole. If he IS an asshole, he’ll never understand it, because most unpretentious assholes are also pretty fucking stupid, (as it relates to common sense stupid).
Afterthought at 8:51 AM: To the one complaining asshole, you MUST carry KY Jelly around with you at all times, in hopes that some big Cowboy dude is going to stick his size 13 Rattlesnake Skinned Cowboy boot up your anus.
Of course you fucking idiot, it’s a JOKE! It means if you’re NOT an “Angel” you’re an………….Wait for it……….AN ASSHOLE!!! Stay tuned, or sign up on my email notifier thingy for the very next post IS going to be about assholes that think the image I used or the words, or that particular post itself was offensive! BULLSHIT I SAY!! All over Face book you see much worse as far as offenses are concerned, people using foul language like, FUCKYOUINTHEASSYOURMAMASUCKSDICKALLTHETIME and, YOURFACELOOKSLIKEMYANUSANDYOUSMELLLIKEITTOO, so fuck off! (I’m not at all angry or upset, just telling the plain old truth).
Just try being nicer, it’s all about karma, cause I FORGIVE YOU the moment you wrote your comment. You censoror (Latin word censorius) from Planet WHOGIVESAFUCKWHATYOUTHINKANYWAY?
For my writing desire, or urge, I am prompted, or more so of course, “Inspired” by some of the weirdest shit, but it’s fun, and very therapeutic for me.
Like this dude (maybe a chick?) last night. He or She inspired me to write about it. The following is word for word of the brief encounter I had on this particular FB string, in the group, “Fuck you, Fuck them Fuck everybody”. Here’ the string, which I share only because this whole issue of censorship, bigotry, and pure stupidity is actually entertaining in a way. Sometimes it’s outright hilarious!
“Fuck you, Fuck them Fuck everybody” (FB Group Title)
Note to reader: Based on the title of the group, I didn’t feel that it would be wrong for me to post my shit on their website, in this string, because some groups don’t allow you to directly post shit on THEIR group page. What I posted in the following string had absolutely nothing to do with a fucking spider. Boo Hoo Hoo. If you squint a little bit, the spider DOES look like an anus. Dirty one, but still an anus.
Tom Saxe: Here’s a couple of new quotes, or just run them together as one quote:
I think Abe Lincoln’s hat, that rhymes with Cat, looks better than Donald Trumps Hair, that rhymes with………. – T. C. Saxe
CRAP?
or
I think Abe Lincoln’s hat, that rhymes with Cat, looks better than Donald Trumps Hair, that doesn’t rhyme with CRAP – T. C. Saxe https://tcsblog.net/…/looks-like-chevy-chase-has-been…/
Like · Reply · 3 · 19 hrs
Offended Dude: Go away
Like · Reply · 1 · 16 hrs
Offended Dude: I’m going to have to report this. Take it down or expect a permanent ban, at the worst. A temporary suspension of your account if you’re lucky. This is extremely offensive .
Tom Saxe: Folks, because of the above person being OFFENDED, I am taking the above string of comments and putting them on my blog site, because the ASSHOLE has no fucking sense of humor! Hahahahahahahhaa So for you folks that come after I delete my comments for the asshole, you will see it on a post soon. One he can’t call the FB cops on. https://tcsblog.net/…/looks-like-chevy-chase-has-been…/
Offended dude: Like I said, go away
Second dude: Mike, are you a 13 year old girl?
Tom Saxe Hahahahahahaha
Second dude: Tom, I wasn’t implying your post was funny. I didn’t even read it. I just saw this girls Mike was going all tattle tale on a fb post. What a baby.
Tom Saxe: Second dude: I understand exactly. I just thought your comment to the little girl was particularly funny to me. I really don’t care if people don’t find my blog posts funny as some of my posts are quite serious, but some I think are pretty funny, due to my warped mental compass. Thanks for your comment, like I said it made me laugh.
Here’s an excerpt from my last post:
My last edit, nine hours after first posting, I have to tell everyone that out of hundreds of “Likes”, I had 2 bad comments. The one bad comment that I absolutely have to write a separate post about, was a dude that was offended by my Moon Crater side of my new business card, ok, it wasn’t a “Moon Crater”, it was simply an image of an “Anus”, generic for “Asshole” (not mine, by the way, came off a Google search), with the words, “Or you’re NOT a Moon Crater” (I think it’s clever). If you squint a little, it looks like a big spider! Or maybe a cool looking belly button?Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, (or LOL).
Of course you fucking idiot, it’s a JOKE! It means if you’re NOT an “Angel” you’re an………….Wait for it……….AN ASSHOLE!!! Stay tuned, or sign up on my email notifier thingy for the very next post IS going to be about assholes that think the image I used or the words, or that particular post itself was offensive! BULLSHIT I SAY!! All over Face book you see much worse as far as offenses are concerned, people using foul language like, FUCKYOUINTHEASSYOURMAMASUCKSDICKALLTHETIME and, YOURFACELOOKSLIKEMYANUSANDYOUSMELLLIKEITTOO, so fuck off! (I’m not at all angry or upset, just telling the plain old truth).
Squint, you might see a big spider.
Afterthought at 8:51 AM: To the one complaining asshole, you MUST carry KY Jelly around with you at all times, in hopes that some big Cowboy dude is going to stick his size 13 Rattlesnake Skinned Cowboy boot up your anus.
Just try being nicer, it’s all about karma, cause I FORGIVE YOU the moment you wrote your comment. You censoror (Latin word censorius) from Planet WHOGIVESAFUCKWHATYOUTHINKANYWAY?
If you exude good karma, you get my, “You just might be an Angel” front side of my new card (the asshole is on the back side).
Strain: BellyButtonLint #2, harvested February 12, 2016