So, here I was tonight, posting my wondrously clever Craigslist Ad, for renting out the house, i.e., double wide 1978 Mobile Home that I call, “Home of the Dude”. I was concentrating on Europe and Asia. Once I ran out of rich foreign cities, I came back to closer to home, i.e., Arizona specifically. I thought, what if there’s some dude in Alaska or Paris, looking to come to Sedona, Arizona, and discover he can save $5K by staying in Peoria, Arizona.
How fucking clever does one have to be, to turn this into a full blown post for my blog. Plus, I’m really going to be putting Craigslist Ads in every fucking Southwest winter snowbird destination. And I just thought and wrote that at that same time at 10:17 PM on Labor Day, September 5th, 2016.
So, there I was. The thought had been occurring several times over a period of about a week, that I should talk to Jason, the manager about my plans to rent my home out seasonally, so I could afford to live near my Grandson, boohooboohoo. This is my favorite photo, the night sky.
It is the truth that I want to move to Simi Valley, California in order to be near my family again. The fact is, my thinking about the rental aspects of my home were all wrong. I was just thinking of what the park manager charges for monthly rentals. My guess? Around $750.00 a month for long term renting or leasing. Then I had this wonderful, odorless, wait for it………….”Brain Fart”.
The so called Snow Birds that come here for the Arizona Winters, stay a minimum of 30 days, the little bit rich ones. When, at the very top of the food chain, the “Super Rich” stay for five or six months, and money is no object. They will spend $25,000.00 a month to stay in a really expensive home overlooking Phoenix.
At the middle of the food chain is the wealthy, but not wealthy enough to afford that house up there on the mountain side. That category stays in a nice or mid-priced hotel, and perhaps an average Condo or Townhouse. They will still be able to stay for the full season.
Then there is the little bit rich that I first mentioned. They will love staying in MY clean, furnished and well maintained mobile home, for a minimum stay of 30 days at $84.00 per night. So, at the very least, I have to drive from Simi Valley once every 30 days to take back the keys and hand them to the next renter, whose chosen the 3 month plan, with a discount of course.
Now, this is where Jason comes in. If I splain this to him in the right way, solely as a business deal, perhaps a small fee to management, (Jason) for watching the property, as a property manager should. Taking care of the keys, and maintenance of the property.
I will take care of the advertising and booking, AND collection of the rental monies. So, how does Jason find out about my great business idea? I really don’t have to make an appointment to have an “Off the Record” boohooboohoo discussion about how much I love my Grandson, and why I need to rent out my bought and paid for mobile home so I can move back to California.
Why? Because he is going to see the Craigslist ad some time in the next 7 days, idea, who wants to bet that it will take Jason more than one day to see my Craigslist ad because he is too busy playing online no limit holdem for real money, not free chips.
I’m guessing that he will never discover my ad on his own. Either Sherry, (who probably plays Solitaire most of the day), or more likely a corporate dude back in Michigan will see my adult, and put two and two together. The corporate dude more than likely would be the first to call my cell number to investigate my snow bird rental idea.
Today is Labor Day, tomorrow is back to work for Jason, Sherry, and the company dude back in Waxahachie or where ever. I will post this tonight, and I can guarantee you that neither of the three aforementioned people will look at my blog post before one of them sees my Craigslist ad, or someone else tells them.
So here is my second non-deliberate advertisement in a post on my blog website. Clever? Maybe? Creative writing? Oh hell yes! Here’s my holiday rental ad, going out to I hope millions on Facebook because that’s where I post my blog posts. The idea of Facebook itself? Clever beyond most people’s comprehension. Okay, NOW here’s my ad with some photos. Or be sure and look the ad up on Craigslist, hahahahahahahahahaha.
$70 / 2br – 1000ft2 – West Phoenix home for Snowbirds
Sitting on your porch, you have one of the best views in the park! It’s a great view, day or night. I’ll add a daytime view when the sun comes up. Walking distance to pool. 1,000 square foot, 2 bedroom 2 bath home, furnished, in a gated private community in Peoria, northwest side of Phoenix, Lovely grounds, very large well maintained pool w/spa, a gym, meeting room, library, game room with pool table. Conveniently located right off the freeway (101). Twenty minutes to Downtown Phoenix, Twenty minutes to Scottsdale. I am hoping to find a person or persons to rent this through the Winter season here in Arizona. Available mid-October. Looking to rent through March, maybe longer. This place is a mobile home, but double wide. Perfect for two couples. 53″ TV is free to use, Direct TV is included in the monthly rent. My home has High Speed Satellite Internet, and is also available and included in the monthly rent. We have a very nice outdoor, all stainless steel “Barbie”. Daily rent is $84.00 per night based on 30 day minimum, $75.00 based on 2 month minimum, and $70.00 per night based on 3 month minimum. All rent prices are based on payment in full prior upon booking. Anything over three months subject to negotiation. Cleaning Deposit is $400.00
This is mucho less expensive than staying in a hotel or motel, and possibly a little lower cost per night than a Townhome or Condo. With better resort style amenities.
Strain: FatChevy, harvested someday in the near future
Here’s a couple of new quotes, or just run them together as one quote:
I think Abe Lincoln’s hat, that rhymes with Cat, looks better than Donald Trumps Hair, that rhymes with………. – T. C. Saxe
I think Abe Lincoln’s hat, that rhymes with Cat, looks better than Donald Trumps Hair, that doesn’t rhyme with CRAP – T. C. Saxe
My last edit, nine hours after first posting, I have to tell everyone that out of hundreds of “Likes”, I had 2 bad comments. The one bad comment that I absolutely have to write a separate post about, was a dude that was offended by my Moon Crater side of my new business card, ok, it wasn’t a “Moon Crater”, it was simply an image of an “Anus” (not mine, by the way, came off a Google search), with the words, “Or you’re NOT a Moon Crater”. Of course you fucking idiot, it’s a JOKE! It means if you’re NOT an “Angel” you’re an………….Wait for it……….AN ASSHOLE!!! Stay tuned, or sign up on my email notifier thingy for the very next post IS going to be about assholes that think the image I used or the words, or that particular post itself was offensive! BULLSHIT I SAY!! All over Face book you see much worse as far as offenses are concerned, people using foul language like, FUCKYOUINTHEASSYOURMAMASUCKSDICKALLTHETIME and, YOURFACELOOKSLIKEMYANUSANDYOUSMELLLIKEITTOO, so fuck off!
Afterthought at 8:51 AM: To the one complaining asshole, you MUST carry KY Jelly around with you at all times, in hopes that some big Cowboy dude is going to stick his size 13 Rattlesnake Skinned Cowboy boot up your anus. Just try being nicer, it’s all about karma, cause I FORGIVE YOU. Stay tuned for my next post you censoror (Latin word censorius) from Planet WHOGIVESAFUCKWHATYOUTHINKANYWAY?