Geriatric Sex and Alice in Wonderland

You know, I’m 70 years+ old, and I have to admit, I still have the sex drive of a twenty-year-old. I need to explain this a little bit so you understand where I’m cumming from. At fifteen years of age, (the first time for me, Susie was sixteen), I really didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, I admit that. Susie slavered on the Vaseline Petroleum Jelly on her pussy, and the moment the head of my penis touched her……….left arm, I came.

When you are a studly fellow at the ripe ole age of twenty, you tend to walk around in a constant state of erection. The sex is way better than when you were fifteen, and you feel like you could fuck for hours.

Now you are thirty, just married, and believe me, the sex is awesome…….For the first six months. That’s when you and your spouse have discovered a few things about each other that are, well, “Negative vibes, man, don’t put that shit on me, Susie”. She comes to bed with some sort of Vegan shit spread all over her face, you know, that GREEN MASK. Wouldn’t THAT be a Super-Hero for a comic book, the GREEN Mask, in living color, has just crawled into bed with you, she turns to you with her eyes closed tight, and her lips pouted for a kiss goodnight. You head for the bathroom to spank the monkey.

Now you are forty-two, slightly balding, recently divorced, and cruising the Karaoke Bars with the anticipation of a twenty-year old again. Of course, you are carrying several condom’s you respond, to some thirty-something that also asked what you do for a living (a way to ask if you are rich enough to afford her). After buying her drinks for most of the evening, and some slight touches, and even a few kisses, in walks her Lesbian Girlfriend to take her home. Well, tomorrows another night, great Karaoke over at the Golden China.

Now I skip over the fifties and sixties just a little. This period of time you are just one lucky mother-fucker if you ever got laid, or found a woman that wasn’t half to three-quarters “Plum-Fucking Crazy”. I guess I was one of the lucky ones……For about three months.

Because at fifty, I met, dated, and was fucking a gal that was only twenty-six years old. Five-foot, two inch, hundred and five pound “Spinner”, and you all know what that means. I approached her at the Golden Vagina (China) one Friday night, right after singing my version of the Kenny Rogers version, of “Lady”. She came to my place for dinner a few nights later. We had Surf & Turf, and fucked after dinner. We continued to fuck for three months. There is an end to that part of the story, but I’m saving it for later.

I’ve had a few other “Lucky” streaks in my fifties, the sixties were “Spank the Monkey” years. Now, I’m Seventy, and raring to go all over again. The only thing missing? M-O-N-E-Y. If a dude my age is filthy rich, and you see a thirty-year old walking by his side, holding his hand, it’s the M-O-N-E-Y. At my age and income level, all I can get are little old ladies at the Moose Lodge, pay for an eighteen (sure) year-old hooker, or buy some KY Jelly at the pharmacy. You also do the “Alice in Wonderland” trick and take a little “Blue Pill” (It makes you LARGER). The blood from your brain rushes to your dick, and you faint because you’ve also smoked a couple of bowls. So, one and all, take pity on a poor old helpless dude that I am, and join the group at:

Peace & Abide

Dr. T. C. Saxe, DD

Strain: MILFBellyButtonLint, harvested November 28th, 1999

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