Bong Fart- When you are REALLY bored, while smoking weed with your friends
Your bong (medium size, approximately 8″ tall)
Matches or lighter
Small kitchen type food funnel, plastic
12″ Rubber surgical hose (Optional)
Meat Lovers Pizza
Del Taco “Big and Nasty” One A.M. Burritos
Cheetos, Reeves Peanut Butter Cups, etceteras
Cheap wine or your favorite beer (works better with beer)
Hopefully, you bought a hose that stretches over the small, outlet end of your kitchen funnel. Be sure to buy a hose that will stretch slightly, so you have a tight seal. If you don’t have the plastic kitchen type, use your oil filler funnel (clean before use) from your garage. Stick the other end of the hose down into the chamber of your bong through the top opening. Fill your bong with weed. At the appropriate time, place the receiving end of your funnel snugly against your ass, (this can be a discreet activity, accomplished while still in a sitting position on your couch, trust me). Light bong, filling bong with smoke, i.e., load “fart” first, making sure that nothing escapes, and hand it to your good buddy sitting next to Susie at the other end of the sofa. You have the option of walking to the bathroom to “load” your bong. In that case, the rubber surgical hose is not required, as you simply drop the neck end of your funnel into the top of the bong, hold it to the back of your naked butt-hole, and fart into it, and cap it off with your hand. If you have been watching a good movie (I highly recommend “The Big Lebowski”). Trust me, the dude at the end of the couch is not watching you “load” the bong, so to speak. Tell him you are giving him the honor of taking the first hit as you hand the bong to him. Take the hose off before you hand the bong to Billy (hose comes off very easily, trust me). Tell Mary to record Billy taking the first hit.
Tell Billy, “It’s really good shit!”. Trust me, this has never been done before, let’s take this viral. Be the first to share your “Bong Fart” video on “The Unknown Sock Puppet Show” on YouTube and Facebook.
Not quite like biting the bubbles in the bathtub when you were a kid
Disclaimer: This post is meant as satire only, and does not suggest that it is possible to load your fucking bong with Methane Gas, which is what a fart is basically, without some explosion, or as a minimum, burning your face off with the flaming methane as you light your bong. For those who insist in trying the “Bong Fart” we recommend filling your bong with Cannabis smoke FIRST, then loading your fart. No liability is assumed by the author if injuries are sustained.
Strain: Meatlovers18InchPizza, harvested May 6th, 2017
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