I was talking to my neighbor the other day. I don’t know how the subject of dog farts came up. Anyway, I said to my neighbor Bob, “I went over to my new girlfriend, Cindy’s house, the other night for dinner, and after dinner we sat on the couch and watched some movie. Cindy’s Great Dane, “Rufus”, jumped up and sat between us, which kinda prevented me from snuggling up to Cindy.
All of a sudden there whiffed through the air, one of those “Something crawled up your ASS and died”, kinda farts. I first looked at Rufus, then I glanced at her for a second or two. She looked at Rufus, then looked at me for a second or two. Right then I thought, she really doesn’t know if that god-awful smell was from Rufus, or me”.
Which led Bob to ask, “What is she feeding him?”, “I don’t know”, I responded, “Natural foods I think, she makes Rufus all his meals from scratch, plus I think she adds some store-bought dog food that is free of any added shit like, GMO’s, chemicals, preservatives, and such”.
This led to further discussion as I continued, “I think they should put warning labels on dog food. You know, like on a scale of 1 to 5……with 5 being the smelliest farts, and 1 being the least”. Bob agreed, as we laughed, he asked………
“Did you ever figure out wither it was Rufus or your girlfriend that farted?”. I smiled and said, “Yeah, later that evening when we were lying in bed, as I pulled her panties off, I smelled that lingering smell, you know, that fart smell that you left in your sheepskin seat cover in your car that one time we went for Sushi. When we got back in the car after an hour or so, your fart was still clinging to YOUR sheepskin, remember”. Don’t tell her I told you about it.
Peace & Abide,
Dr. T. C. Saxe, DD
Strain: itsurewasntmadebypurina, harvested March 17th, 2019
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