The Great Unknown Sock Puppet interviews Elmer the Porno Pupsicle (who was slightly toasted)
The Great Unknown Sock Puppet is reminiscent of “The Unknown Comic” from thirty years ago. A small tan sandwich bag, pulled over an athletic sock, pulled over my hand. Two googly eyeballs, and a CGI imposed set of human lips, talking.
Elmer the Porno Pupsicle (who was slightly toasted), is a realistic looking lemon colored popsicle, with a tiny hat slightly resembling the top of a circumcised penis. Elmer also has googly eyes, and a CGI imposed set of human lips, talking.
The Great Unknown Sock Puppet
“So Elmer, why are you a Pupsicle, instead of a normal Popsicle?”
Elmer the Porno Pupsicle (who was slightly toasted)
“It’s kinda funny you should ask that” (canned laughter). “You see, the only creatures that will suck me and lick me, generally are puppies…….full grown dogs, cats, kittens, rabbits, deer, parakeets, elephants (wild, not circus), etceteras”. (Canned laughter).
The Great Unknown Sock Puppet
“Interesting, (as he turns his head towards the camera), looking back at Elmer the Porno Pupsicle, who was slightly toasted….So do women (or some men), (canned chuckles), ever look at you, Elmer the Porno Pupsicle, who was slightly toasted and say”….”Darn it! If you were a popsicle, I’d lick you and suck on you until you were finished (gone) even if you do have a stick up your ass”. (Tremendous canned laughter).
Tune in next week to my interview with BIG FOOT, yes, I am going to be interviewing a real live BIG FOOT right here on….
THE GREAT UNKNOWN SOCK PUPPET INTERVIEWS…….screen fades to an intro into a commercial, with a manly man’s voice saying, “And now a word from our sponser”. Commercial follows:
First Scene or portion: A manly man (actually an ordinary man with a slight beer belly) is standing there in front of the bathroom mirror, vigorously rubbing EASEECUM Men’s Medical Miracle Skin Cream on his face neck and arms, then his hairless chest. The camera zooms in on the manly man’s facial skin, with a slight razor rash. The camera continues to zoom in, thru all the microscopic levels.
All of a sudden, the scene is of the manly man lying in bed, squirting a healthy portion of EASEECUM Men’s Medical Miracle Skin Cream on his right hand……….Then the camera sees a blurry shot (“in motion, after all, this is motion picture quality Spoof Commercial”) to the manly man’s hand gripping his penis in a choke hold worthy of WWE, i.e., he’s masturbating, as the celebrity voice for the commercial is saying just as the manly man orgasmatically squirts a huge stream of cum, “EASEECUM will turn your rough, scaly arms and legs into skin so soft and smooth, you will think you are feeling a baby’s butt”. Then at the precise peak of orgasm, the manly man is screaming out, “OHHHHHHHHHHBABYOHHHHA”.
Back to the zoom in of the bottle of EASEECUM, as the main celebrity voice is saying, “Only $9.99 per bottle (plus S & H)…..But wait! There’s more! Order now and receive a SECOND bottle absolutely FREE!!! (just pay separate s & h). Operators are standing by for your call!
Of course, throughout the commercial, the toll-free number is on the screen for a bit, then it disappears. The cleverness of the disappearing act on the part of the “toll free number”, is that as part of the audience, you think to yourself, “Shit, I should have written that number down”. After a slight pause, you are saying, “Melba, get me a pen and a piece of paper”….Thinks to himself, “I KNOW that they are going to show that number again”.
I would like to actually film this, possibly for YouTube, if I can get help from a few professionals. So, if you are interested in collaborating with me, or you know folks that might be interested, let me know. Thanks.
Strain: SeattlesBest1, harvested September 23rd, 2018
For those of you that have enjoyed reading my posts and pages, and would like to make a small donation in support of my writing efforts, I have now set up a PayPal account for you to contribute $1 or so, or you can send some Cannabis, homemade Venison Jerky or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups , your donation is 100% tax deductible. Thank you, friends
Peace & Abide,
Dr. T. C. Saxe, DD