Month: November 2021

I saw this post on farcecrap tonight which was a photo of Mick Jagger and his name, Sir Michael Philip Jagger. Formally dressed in a Business Suit, probably a $15,000 suit looking spiffy. Either real short hair or pulled back into a Manbun. A very distinctive and professional look for the “Knighting Ceremony”. Nice photo.

There was a pathetically and pathologically warped “comment” that caught my attention…..fbDude 1: “He’s just a singer in a rock and roll band”. ……For me, when I read that, it smelled a little like sarcasm.

Many people here on farcecrap seem to get their jollies off writing something sarcastic or blatantly inaccurate, just to see the responses to their comments….”Just for the Halibut” in other words. Any other type of person who would seriously write something like that is just an Asshole. The sarcastic dude is just having fun with it, you know, “Pulling your leg”.

So, a fan (obviously) responded to the sarcastic comment thinking that fbDude1 was an illiterate hillbilly from Arkansas. Here’s his response:

fbDude2: “I know what’s the big deal he just happens to be the best rhythm and blues singer this that side of the pond”.

Now in all sincerity, if you ARE a Stones fan, you can understand the deep-felt love & admiration that we “Stoners” have for the greatest band of all time, (when defending their honor.

Yes, the first dude was using sarcasm just to throw a monkey wrench into the post for the reasons I mentioned. I mean, WTF, Mick’s wearing a suit because that was the day he was “Knighted” by the Queen of England, you know, the tapping of the ceremonial sword on Mick’s shoulders. Which by the way, if people knew the history of that ritual, they wouldn’t be so excited about the whole thing.

In medieval times, sure, the town squares had the old blood-stained “Chopping Block” which you leaned over from a kneeling position and placed/laid your head (with neck) “On the Chopping Block”. But, and it’s a BIG BUT, what about the dudes that got executed out of town, like, let’s say, in the woods somewhere? Look around for a tree trunk to use as a CB? NAAAAA…..

The unfortunate dude that is getting his head cut off is on his knees, hands tied (if he had hands), and the Queen’s Agent for Goodness & Mercy just takes a swing at it, wait for it…….HORIZONTALLY, NOT VERTICALLY! Now, here comes the historical ritual-ness of “Knighting” as we know it today. Someone already famous and filthy rich gets honored by the Queen of a country that is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of millions of people.

Back to the woods in 1387. No tree stumps in this “neck” of the woods. The dude doing the “Chopping Off of the Head” says to the soon to be headless man, “Okay, just to help you prepare for what I’m going to be doing next, I’m going to be tapping on your shoulders six times, and there will be no seventh tap for you. Then, tap, tap, tap, swooooosh goes the sword, off goes the head right after the third tap. It soon became well known as the “Knighting”. “Yeh, my buddy got Knighted” the other day and he got as far as number four”.

I digress, the point of the story? I responded with the following comment fully expecting to get a response:

Me: “and the fact that they just might hold the record for longevity, oh, and Mick paid for my surgery 26 years ago”.

Did Mick pay for my surgery? Of course not! What am I doing? I’m commenting in such a way to illicit responses. Why? For the Halibut and to generate further discussion. I AM a writer, so the entire essay was really to say, okay, for me, the Rolling Stones have been my all-time favorite group, the Medieval “Knighting” part of the story I made up along the way.

Can you imagine Queen Elizabeth in the glory of senility, doing a 1..2…Swoooosh on somebody? Anyway, I love the Stones and would like my essay to reach them, and for them to instruct their primary Public Relations people to hire me as an “Official Correspondent” on their next tour.

Peace & Abide, La paz y la morada, السلام والالتزام , שלום ושמירה, Paix et Demeure, Խաղաղությունը եւ մնալը, Мир и пребывание,, 平和と遵守, 和平與恪守, Aştî û Abad, صلح و عبید, Fred och Abide, Kapayapaan at Patuloy, Frieden und Bleiben, Mir i Ostanite, शांति और निवास, Hòa bình và ở lại, Мир и Абиде, שלום און בלייַבן, สันติภาพและการปฏิบัติ, Mir in bivanje,

I came up with this simple T-Shirt “Message” based on how I react when some religious type starts going into full-on missionary-mode in trying to convert me and question/prove that my lack of belief in their religion is wrong.

Our “I DON’T CARE” slogan will go viral, like a few of those political slogans….“Make America Great Again (MAGA)” and “Build Back Better” (author’s comment: Just give us back what we had).

The I DON’T CARE T-shirts will become highly collectible, with one, the author’s original T-Shirt, signed, selling at auction at Christie’s in London for an amazing $297,000 in August of 2022.

You have already read what the original intent is, now here are the three targeted audiences. First target audience is ALL religious types who either does the “Missionary” shit and knocks on doors to give the homeowner a preachin’ to, and/or the occasional drunk at a bar, sitting next to you, talking about how wonderful Jesus is, or your Crazy Uncle George who says you’re going to Hell every time he comes over for Thanksgiving potluck dinner and brings his usual crock-pot of Beans & Onions.

The other side of the “Koin”(go to www.irthkoin.com for a remotely linked project to this T-Shirt), are people like myself who don’t believe in ANYTHING, that can shut down the three Mormon chicks that I invited in the other day because one of them was REALLY CUTE…because those three words, “I DON’T CARE”, can be repeated many times, maybe only once if that Mormon chick turns out to be REALLY STUPID and you stand up and welcome them to leave, or perhaps you repeat our wonderful slogan 17 times, because that really cute Mormon chick has been coming on to you (you think).

If worn in public, like walking down some crowded boardwalk, the design of our shirt is meant to give a “Sign” to those walking behind you. Regardless if those people behind you are angered, just really curious, or the third type, that really religious dude that says to his wife, “Mother, watch this. I’m going to bring him to Jesus”, they will inevitably speed up their pace to catch up to you to either “get in your face”, or out of curiosity, they just want to see your face, or begin evangelizing the hell out of you. All three of these types will see the slogan on the front of your T-Shirt, I DON’T CARE!

Your Crazy Uncle George, Missionary Bob or just some drunk in a bar: “But you do know, that unless you receive Jeebus Bhist as your Lord and Savior, you’re going to burn in Hell”, to which I respond, “I don’t care. Just as you have the freedom to believe in your “Fantasy God”, please allow me that same freedom to NOT believe in ANY of the man-made religions & gods. As I said, I DON’T CARE”.

If worn in public, like walking down a crowded Venice Boardwalk, the design of our shirt is meant to give a “Sign” to those walking behind you. Regardless if those people behind you are angered, just really curious, or the third type, the really religious dude that says to his wife, “Mother, watch this. I’m going to bring him/her to Jesus”, they will inevitably speed up their pace to catch up to you to either “get in your face”, out of curiosity, they just want to see your face, or begin evangelizing the hell out of you. All three of these types will see the slogan on the front of your T-Shirt, I DON’T CARE!

SHELTON’S ON FIRE! SHELTON’S ON FIRE! Paul accidentally whilst pulling the bowl out of the bong, dropped the ember on Shelton’s back which started to smoke….Paul quickly leaped to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water yelling “SHELTON’S ON FIRE! SHELTON’S ON FIRE!” and leaped back and poured the water still yelling on Shelton’s back “SHELTON’S ON FIRE! SHELTON’S ON FIRE! FIRES’S OUT!

Most people would be pissed if someone set THEIR dog on fire. Not me. What did I do after initially yelling, “HOLY FUCK”? I laughed. It’s a more interesting Modis Operandi to live by instead of all the negativity, like anger.

Many of my friends know the story of how and when I was able to forgive my stepfather for beating my mother to death when I was a young fifteen- year-old kid who had just turned fifteen. That ability to forgive is THE MAJOR FACTOR in living a good life. Without religion by the way, I’m an Atheist.

So, unless the use of a mouse which happens to be THE Mickey Mouse deeply offends and/or scars a person for life, I intend to stick with it for its simplicity and “Signal” that it gives. In other words, We can care, perhaps ramp up our emotions if something takes place that we either like or dislike, but the proof in the pudding is when you can see the forgiveness when we need to (coming and going), and also see the Pure Joy when something good happens, sooooo, chill out, life’s to wonderful to bitch about the small stuff. That’s why when Susie sheepishly tells me she ate all my fuckin’ Chocolate Ice Cream, I can immediately respond back, “I DON’T CARE”.

For anyone desiring one of these high-quality Premium T-Shirts of their own, you can contact me by Message or send an email to theunknownsockpuppet@gmail.com and let me know the size and quantity and I will give you a price. Only available in Black for now. Thanks. Don’t feel pressured, because if you don’t buy one, “I DON’T CARE”, hahahahahaha

Peace & Abide, La paz y la morada, السلام والالتزام , שלום ושמירה, Paix et Demeure, Խաղաղությունը եւ մնալը, Мир и пребывание,, 平和と遵守, 和平與恪守, Aştî û Abad, صلح و عبید, Fred och Abide, Kapayapaan at Patuloy, Frieden und Bleiben, Mir i Ostanite, शांति और निवास, Hòa bình và ở lại, Мир и Абиде, שלום און בלייַבן, สันติภาพและการปฏิบัติ, Mir in bivanje,