To be used as a substitute salutation, coming or going. Instead of, “Hi there! nice to see you”, or, “Goodbye, may God go with you!” You say, “May your scrotum be dragged through a burning, fiery pit of venomous Cobras”. The trick is to say it rapidly, with emotion, with a 7-11 clerk accent. Now, don’t get upset. Everybody’s accent is funny to someone. Some people think a British accent is funny. An in-bred Hillbilly’s accent can be a hoot. I do laugh when I hear a ”Texas” accent from a 7-11 clerk, “Would you like me to put this in a bag sir?” I think the only people that should be called, “Indians”, are the people from India. Our “Native Americans” are just that, “Native” Americans. The first pilgrims must have thought they had reached India, so they called the indigenous people, “Indians”, and it stuck ever since. Let’s call the “Indian” Casinos, “Native American” Casinos, shall we? Remember how Tonto talked? Almost like Tarzan. “Tonto, say, bad man go that way”. So, lighten up on the 7-11 clerk thing.
The reason the catch-phrase could become popular, i.e., go “Viral”, is because it will become like a game, who would be first to say it when either saying hello or goodbye, and who had the best accent. You could give out awards! Losers pay for dinner! The possibilities are endless. It could be very useful when you can’t get a word in edgewise, and you’re more interested in talking to that cute little redhead over by the piano. You are trying to squeeze in the words, “Gotta go man! Thanks for the Stock Tip”, instead you break-in with “May your scrotum be dragged through a burning, fiery pit of venomous Cobras”.
Now, you don’t use this catch-phrase when you are walking up to that cute little redhead, standing by the piano. Women don’t have a scrotum, normally. If however, she beats you to the punch before you can utter the word, “Hello”, she says, ” May your scrotum be dragged through a burning, fiery pit of venomous Cobras”. She’s saying, “Nice to meet you” or, ” Fuck off”. If she isn’t smiling, you walk away.
Don’t ever say it to a Traffic Cop first. If he says it to you before he asks for your Drivers License and Registration, odds are you are going to get a lecture, not a ticket. If you say it first, ticket for sure. If your boss walks in your cubicle and utters the words before you can, pack your stuff, you’re fired. If you are at a family reunion enjoying the day, and your cousin Bob says it before you do, he’s going to clean the barbecue sauce off his hands on the back of your white “Tommy Bahama” shirt while he’s giving you a big bear-hug.
You don’t say it to the Heart Surgeon just before you’re gassed into LA-LA land. However, you CAN say it to the nurse who just ripped out your catheter. “May your scrotum be dragged through a burning, fiery pit of venomous Cobras” right after you scream like a stuck pig. She’ll get the point. You’re crazy if you say it to the Judge, just as he asks you, “How do you plead?”. Although maybe you can use it as part of your insanity defense.
You can say it to a buddy, when you catch him sniffing your sisters bicycle seat. Especially if she has a sheepskin cover on her seat. “May your scrotum be dragged through a burning, fiery pit of venomous Cobras”. When you execute the phrase, what you’re really telling your buddy is, “Expecting vagina, got fart”, “Been there, done that”. Come on, everybody has at least sniffed their own bicycle seat one time or another. Especially after a good fart. My daughter got in my car one day and said “May your scrotum be dragged through a burning, fiery pit of venomous Cobras”. I immediately knew that what she was saying was, “Dad, still smells like fart in here”.
Please feel free to suggest other instances where the catch-phrase can be used. The really funny ones will be added to the post. Someone once famously said about Comedy, “It’s all in the timing”. Sharing means giving permission to add it to the post, with acknowledgement of course.
Strain: “Daddy’s got a Brand New Bag” harvested January 12, 2016
We sometimes think it is hopeless and against all odds, but hey, we are part of the 99% against the 1% that currently have absolute control. We can and shall overcome the odds, but only if we truly ORGANIZE. Otherwise, we are all just as a “Single Fly, Farting in the Wind”. Some thoughts on possible miracles/solutions can be found on the following GOFUNDME page. If you have questions, suggestions, comments, etcetera, again, please feel free to contact me. You can contact me by farcecrap PM, send me an email or fill out the contact form below.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/like-a-single-fly-farting-in-the-wind
For my faithful readers that are aware that I’m finally working on “The Dead Armadillo” story, like say, a Producer, or a Director, or a Screenwriter or someone or a company that desires to option my novel, you can contact me at any time, night or day. If you are a one of those faithful readers that wish to read and follow my progress as I work on this novel, I will be posting updates as a PDF file on every new post on this website/blog. Here’s the latest of “The Dead Armadillo”
TheDeadArmadilloManuscript101019
For those of you that would care to get involved with me on this project, as I intend to hire a professional screenwriter at some point, and produce a feature film, I have recently been approved for a KICKSTARTER campaign where you can contribute. Here is the link to the KICKSTARTER campaign.
Peace & Abide, La paz y la morada, السلام والالتزام , שלום ושמירה, Paix et Demeure, Խաղաղությունը եւ մնալը, Мир и пребывание,, 平和と遵守, 和平與恪守, Aştî û Abad, صلح و عبید, Fred och Abide, Kapayapaan at Patuloy, Frieden und Bleiben, Mir i Ostanite, शांति और निवास, Hòa bình và ở lại, Мир и Абиде, שלום און בלייַבן, สันติภาพและการปฏิบัติ, Mir in bivanje,
Dr. T. C. Saxe, DD, RSISHE
Some immediate needs. On a volunteer basis for now, we need a WEBMASTER who can work on the ITAD-NAO website, we need a person skilled in “Crowd-Funding” and “Director of Charitable Giving”, we need an attorney to help in the legal matters for ITAD_NAO, including setting us up as a tax-exempt “Church”, we need a Certified CPA to insure the financial integrity of the ITAD-NAO organization, we need a “Chief of Security”, we need a film-maker, first for YouTube, eventually for larger platforms, plus a few other positions. We believe that somewhere down the road, a Billionaire will step up to the plate and write a check for $50 Million or so, which will turn those volunteer positions into paid positions.
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