It’s okay to feel embarrassment if you shit your pants at the grocery store, you are an old fart. Next time, just wear black or dark brown shorts.

ANTICIPATION versus SURPRISE or SUDDEN AWARENESS, and the subsequent or associated feelings like DISAPPOINTMENT and REGRET. ANTICIPATION can be a positive feeling, like anticipating an event like the birth of your first child or waiting for the Thanksgiving Turkey to finish baking.

ANTICIPATION can also be a negative or anxious feeling as well. Like when you are at your local Walmart, and best estimation is that you are about a football field away from the restrooms in the back of the store.

You know you have been feeling the pressure ever since you got there. You know you should have relieved yourself as soon as you walked in the store.

As you are pushing your cart south towards the rear of the building, where the restrooms are, you feel not only the pressure on your bladder, the muscle ache as you are trying to “hold” it, the tightening of your sphincter and butt muscles as you are sprinting towards the restroom, you feel like you are able to cut solid oak with that pinched off anus.

That’s the bothersome kind of ANTICIPATION. You barely get unzipped, standing there, hurriedly struggling to drag the python out of its cage, and you piss your tan khaki shorts slightly. At the same time, your sphincter muscle is still trying to cut salami as the warm pee is dribbling out. A few minutes later, relief.

At the sink, you grab a handful of paper towels and try blotting the wet piss on the front of your shorts, rubbing quickly. Almost looks like a masturbation motion, as you look in the mirror and make eye contact with some dude standing at the sink next to you washing his hands.

How about if the restrooms have those hand blowers on the wall? How many of you guys have at least once in your life, tried holding the front of your wet pants or shorts up to one of those hot air blowing hand dryers, just as some other dudes are walking into the restroom?

I have to admit, twice in my life, most recently at Mirage Casino in Las Vegas three months ago. I admit it looks rather strange, standing there, jutting the front of my body close to the dryer/blower, but it works, quicker than paper towels or toilet paper.

ANTICIPATION versus SURPRISE or SUDDEN AWARENESS, i.e., with no advance warning. SURPRISE or SUDDEN AWARENESS is like when you are just standing there in the produce section, picking out some bananas, and you SUDDENLY feel the pressure of what you thought would be a tiny fart. Relaxing your sphincter muscle just a little, instead of a small fart, you shit yourself slightly.

You feel the wetness around your anus. Instantly, and automatically, you squeeze your sphincter muscle shut, stopping any more leakage of what you know is called DIARRHEA. Pinching so tight, you discover that you REALLY could cut wood with your anus as you are walking the 100 yards or so to the restroom. You are NOT walking bowlegged as you enter the restroom.

SUDDEN or SURPRISE, (without warning and thus without ANTICIPATION), is like getting hit by that bus you didn’t see as you started walking across the street looking the opposite direction as you stepped off the curb.

A negative feeling of ANTICIPATION that can also feel insanely euphoric, or positive/negative, like standing there on the railroad track, looking straight at the oncoming train, it’s lights shining, horns blaring, announcing the impending danger, “Get off the track! Get off the track! Get OFFFFFFFFF the track!”.

You are ANTICIPATING that the train, traveling at 60mph, is going to hit you, in five…….four…….three……two……one…..second. Bye-Bye.

For someone that would do such a thing, it’s horrible. It’s a tragic, morbid thing to do. It makes a big mess for the railroad crew that has to pick up all the pieces of you that were spread down the track for a few hundred feet or so.

You can ANTICIPATE or DREAM, or WISH or HOPE for an event to take place, like thinking you have the winning numbers in a huge Powerball lottery drawing, but in losing, you obviously feel DISAPPOINTMENT. Depending on how much you “invested” in the largest Powerball drawing ever, you may also feel a little, or a lot, of REGRET.

That’s like really, really hoping your firstborn is a boy, and your mate pops out a girl. If there is total ACCEPTANCE with no REGRET on your part, you can turn your DISAPPOINTMENT into an OPPORTUNITIES. As she grows up, you can teach little Susie how to throw a football, baseball, shoot hoops or exotic wild animals, help you change the oil in your Corvette, you know, the manly kind of stuff.

How many ladies here were taught those types of sports or activities when you were growing up? How many ladies here were not enrolled in sports activities, but participated in dance like ballet, or figure skating? Go figure.

I think maybe the same would be for a mother who really wanted a girl, and has a boy instead. Out of a sick, negative kind of REGRET, will the mother ever pretend just a little and put a cute little dress on Johnny? Or buy him a Barbie?

It’s impossible to predict the SURPRISE or SUDDEN event because that would become ANTICIPATION with either hope or fear. So, think positive, desire positive, without it becoming EXPECTATION. This is part of Karma, the Golden Rule.

It’s okay to feel embarrassment if you shit your pants at the grocery store, you are an old fart. Next time, just wear black or dark brown shorts.

Turn your DISAPPOINTMENT into LESSONS LEARNED instead of REGRET. Love yourself. Love others as you desire to be loved. There is no SURPRISE in dying in your sleep. If you SUDDENLY drop dead while shitting your pants standing in line in the checkout line at Safeway, you will obviously feel no ANTICIPATION or REGRET.

In conclusion, never look back in REGRET. Think of the future, turning your dreams into plans and positive ANTICIPATION.

“Don’t look back! You know what’s worse than failure? The agony of “Regret” – Dr. T. C. Saxe, DD

“With every moment you have on this planet, be kind enough to care, humble in your actions. Think selflessly. Then and only then will your caring be humble and selfless, with your kindness shining as a radiant star” – Dr. T. C. Saxe, DD

Buy Depends…….

Strain: BushKush2, harvested September 3rd, 2017

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